“SEX: And God Said it Was Very Good.”

“SEX: And God Said it Was Very Good.”(OR, “What Your Parents Have Always Wanted to Tell You”)

Well, that’s one way to get your attention! Sex really was God’s idea, though, and a terrific idea at that! The Almighty Creator designed an awesome way to populate the world with PEOPLE, the crown of His creation. God packaged this gift of sex in the structure and support of marriage (Gen. 2:19-25). Sex and procreation in marriage provide the wonderful environment that the Lord created for raising godly children. A husband and wife who have committed themselves to God and to one another can share this special gift with one another in guiltless joy and pleasure. In God’s plan, they compliment each other’s strengths and weaknesses. They submit to each other’s needs and desires as the most important facet of their lives, second only to God Himself. Christian Husbands would die for their wives, and their wives respond to that devotion with a willingness to follow their husbands (Eph 5:21-33.) Sex and marriage provide companionship, a complete fulfillment of our sexuality, a way to serve and care for one another, and the setting in which to raise children. Godly sex is holy! It is sacred! It is so special that it is some-thing that is not to be shared in any way with anyone outside the boundary of marriage. When our sexuality is misused it is akin to tearing holes in a priceless Masterpiece painting. It devalues it in everyone’s eyes. After many cuts and rips, something special becomes common and worthless. God wants the very best for us! That’s what happens when we celebrate and appreciate our sexuality God’s Way. The Lord also gives some the gift of remaining single and celibate (I Cor 7:6-8, I Cor 7:25-35.)

As sin entered the world in Eden, our sexuality, marriage and the family became distorted. Christian wedding vows say that marriage is a “joining together of husband and wife in heart, body and mind.” This three-fold understanding of marriage becomes unbalanced when most of the emphasis is placed on the union of bodies. Without a connecting of hearts and minds sex becomes as shallow a relationship as two dogs meeting in an alley. Without a commitment to God and a marriage-commitment to one another, sex can be nothing more than infatuation or feelings- which come and go like styles of clothing.

Our society has distorted God’s gift of sexuality, and cheapened it to become very common. The more that Christians have associations with this sinful world- the more they will imitate the world instead of God’s will for us revealed in the Scriptures. Many young people today have inherited such twisted values from our profane media and entertainment industries that they no longer know right from wrong! Several situations which I have observed among God’s people at Praise (the young and the not-so-young) have prompted the writing of this article. It is the responsibility of parents and Christ’s Church to teach young people the truth concerning God’s Will for us regarding God’s gift of our sexuality. If a few details here seem a bit frank, it is because there is need for specific details to clear up some confusion.

The Sixth Commandment, “You shall not commit adultery,” includes many facets of sexual sins, including, but not limited to the following:

1. Sharing sexual intimacy while dating a person with whom one is not married, including any sexual touching, oral sex and premarital sex. This is sin. Sharing extended periods of kissing and fondling is actually foreplay for sex, and often extends a bit further each time until a couple is unable to control their desire. This is sin. The new FWB designation (”Friends With Benefits”) often refers to friends who are merely casual sex-partners. God’s will for His people is for them to remain sexual virgins until they are married, and to have the freedom to share 100% of this gift with another person without having guilt, painful memories and old emotional/sexual ties to past “lovers.” There are better things people can do on dates to get to know one another as a total person. Group dates are often much more appropriate, especially for younger teens! (I Cor 6:18-20)

2. Dating people who are not Christians is dangerous, and can lead to sin. That’s right; we are to marry other (active, practicing) Christians. We are to “not be yoked together with unbelievers (2 Cor 6:14-17; I Cor 7:39,) because they will be unable to share a spiritual relationship, and this falls short of all God would give us in marriage. The unbeliever has as much a chance of turning a Christian away from God as a believer has in leading an unbeliever to Christ. A 50-50 chance of eternal damnation is very bad odds! Why become emotionally attached to a person who will not make an appropriate mate? Never date or marry a person with the intention of someday changing them; they are on their very best behavior while dating, and probably will not change any habits or beliefs later. (I Cor 15:33) Go to church and find a Christian girlfriend or boyfriend, not to a bar. Have high expectations!

3. Looking at pornography, whether as internet sites, photographs, TV or movies, is sinful. Our Lord Jesus equates the sexual lust it incites with physical adultery itself (Matt 5:27-30). Pornography distorts the viewer’s concept of normal sexuality, and it becomes an addiction which is never satisfied. Young people should be careful to dress modestly so as not to arouse sexual thoughts in others, and become virtual “walking pornography.” (Phil 4:8)l

4. Hearing or telling dirty jokes, making sexually suggestive statements, and using sexually-foul language is sin. (Eph 5:3-4)

5. “POOSSLQ” with carnal intent is sin. In the year 2000, the national census bureau created a category for unmarried people who were living together in a sexual relationship called, “Persons Of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters.” Not only is this a serious, deliberate sin for Christians, but it becomes a public sin and is a very bad “Christian” witness in the community. (John 4:16-18; I Cor 7:2)

6. A marriage engagement is not the same as going steady. Engagement should be taken seriously, and not broken. Being engaged is not a license to share a sexual relationship, (Matt 1:18-19) since many who are engaged eventually break their engagements. A wedding engagement in American society today is a declaration of future intent of marriage, but none of the benefits or responsibilities of marriage are attached to it.

7. Visiting “Strip Clubs,” engaging in “lap dances” and soliciting prostitutes is sinful. It treats God’s precious gift of sex as entertainment, and is a sin which mocks marriage (I Cor 6:15-16.)

8. Abortion is sinful. Since pregnancy is the result of sexual activity- whether by married or unmarried people, the taking of that unborn life can be the sin to try to cover up another sin. Although seen as a ‘convenient’ way to end an unplanned pregnancy, abortion kills an unborn child, affects the mother’s ability to conceive again, increases her chances of several types of cancer, and often afflicts women and men with an emotional guilt of killing their own child that haunts them for the rest of their lives. (Ex 20:13; See “worldrelief.lcms.org,” Christ in Your Family; Thoughts on Marriage and Contraception.”

9. Homosexuality is sinful. Whether individual states or the entire country validate “gay” relationships, homosexuality is an abomination in God’s eyes and is a perversion of the entire purpose, function and fulfillment of sex. God’s design of marriage was that one man and one woman make a lifetime commitment to one another in a relationship which is often blessed with children in a natural way. Homosexuality redefines marriage and the family unit into twisted distortions God did not intend. (Gen 1:27-28; Lev 20:13; Rom 1:24-28; I Cor 6:9-10)

10. Speaking unloving words in marriage is sinful. When husbands and wives speak to one another in harsh or demeaning language it breaks the marriage vow to love, honor and respect one another (Eph 4:26, Eph 4:29-32.) Although the head of the family, a husband must not ‘lord it over his wife,” (Col 3:19.) nor must wives use sexual blackmail to get their way (I Cor 7:3-5.) Selfishness is the main enemy of marriage (I Cor 13:4-7.)

11. Breaking one’s wedding vows through adultery or desertion is sinful, and may cause the marriage to end. Christian couples vow before God and one another to remain faithfully married, “till death do us part.” Having a sexual relationship with another person while the spouse is alive violates that promise (Matt 19:9; Heb 13:4; Rom 7:3; 2 Pet 2:13-14.) Physically abandoning a spouse permanently may also dissolve a marriage (I Cor 7:15.) and constitutes adultery. The innocent spouse may then get a divorce.

12. Divorce, or the permanent dissolution of a marriage, is always due to sin, and displeases God greatly (Mal 2:16.) If a divorce takes place for any reason other than sexual adultery or physical, permanent abandonment, then the divorce itself is sinful, and constitutes adultery ( Matt 5:3-9; I Cor 7:15.) If a Christian obtains a divorce, but without the proper grounds of adultery or desertion on the part of the spouse, he or she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to his or her spouse (I Cor 7:10-11.) Some Christians believe that they may always marry again after a divorce, but this is simply not true according to God’s Word.

Once a person realizes that he or she has broken the sixth commandment (or any other command-ment for that matter) the Christian must quickly and sincerely repent of this sin to avoid God’s earthly and eternal wrath and punishment. Repentance entails deep sorrow over sin- the remorse of having disobeyed and displeased God, and hurting another person. Repentance requires that the sinner, after being confronted with and confessing the sin, will believe that the blood of Jesus Christ has taken away that sin. (I Jn 1:7-9.) The third element of repentance is a promise to amend our sinful life and to do better. To fully repent means that we leave our life of sin and intend to please God. Therefore, one who is “living in the sin” of adultery must immediately cease and desist the sinful activity in thought, word and deed. That will include completely stopping the sinful behavior and altering the situation. One must, for instance, move oneself and one’s belongings out of a residence shared with someone with whom he or she has been having an immoral relationship. For one to say, “I’m sorry,” but not to stop the sin is not true repentance. In a Christian congregation, the pastor and Spiritual Care (Elders) will then ban the sinner from receiving communion, since he or she has not repented. They will follow the steps of Matthew 18:15-18 to encourage the sinner to repent. After several attempts without success, the congregation must finally excommunicate the person, in the hope that this divine announcement of God’s condemnation will jolt the person into repentance (Matt 16:19, Matt 18:15-20; John 20:21-23; I Cor 5:1-13.) It is always the church’s prayer that the person would respond to God’s offer of forgiveness and the correction of the church, to repent, and be welcomed back into the fellowship of the congregation. (2 Cor 2:6-8)

May God continue to bless Christian marriages, and may couples live in God’s holy and sacred joy!

Dr. Paul B. Dancy, Sr. Pastor, Praise Lutheran Church of Fort Wayne

A Vision For Praise

A VISION FOR PRAISE…Congregations go through life-cycles just like people, neighborhoods, marriages and automobiles. I recently looked through several binders of photographs and articles of Praise’s 13 year history, from her conception to today. “Krummy” has painstakingly collected and recorded important moments in the church’s history, and this work was taken over about a year ago by Julie Harmeyer. They are good archivists!

The birth of a congregation is an exciting time! There are many new steps that change as fast as a newborn. Each stage is a milestone that can be measured, from exploratory meetings of starting a mission congregation, to getting a charter, calling a pastor, having the first worship service, purchasing property, constructing a building, starting a preschool, constructing an addition, and seeing several church workers come and go. The first child’s development is often recorded by lots of photographs or videos! Finding pictures of later children is often much more difficult.

One thing is very clear to me, and that is that Praise is no longer a baby church. The initial excitement of a birth, getting that first tooth and taking that “first step” gradually slip into the “terrible two’s!” The baby looks different and now has a personality that is characterized by the word, “NO!” The cuteness of the infant has been replaced by the busyness of an active toddler. Praise offers dozens of ministries which reflect much sweat of those who have gone before. She has a few bruises and scars that reveal traumas and scrapes of the past. The population of the congregation has changed over the years as saints have come and gone, and more continue to be added to their numbers. Praise is poised for the next step in her maturing, as baby teeth are replaced by permanent teeth. A wistful memory of the “good old days when everybody knew each other, was needed and pitched in” resembles Orson Wells’ “Rosebud” of youth. But now it’s time to move on and literally grow up!

In January of this year, a few dozen members of Praise worked through a “Strategic Ministry Workshop.” It was somewhat akin to climbing a tall hill while on a journey to see where we’re been, where we are, and where we need to be going. The facilitator primed and pulled dreams, roadblocks and visions from us, which were written down and are being studied. Although Praise formed a mission statement years ago, it wasn’t visible and was even difficult to locate. This group formed a VISION STATEMENT for Praise that may officially be adopted by the congregation sometime soon. But a vision will only be useful if it is known and shared by all, and repeated regularly enough to get into our blood. I would like to share it with you:

VISION STATEMENT (The Passionate Plan) for Praise Lutheran Chruch

“Praise Lutheran Church, empowered by the Holy Spirit,

strives to be a joyous body of Christ-followers,

united by God’s grace to P.R.A.I.S.E. Him;

equipped to passionately serve and witness.”

PRAISING God in vibrant Worship

REACHING OUT with Christ-centered witness

ANCHORED in God’s Word and Sacraments

INTERCEDING for others

STEWARDS of God’s varied gifts for the building up of His Kingdom

EQUIPPING the saints for works of service.

I think that really describes Praise well! And now the secret is to move from nice sounding words to the reality of this actually being who we are and what we do! Praise is moving forward to find herself as an adolescent-age church, preparing to answer that exciting question, “what do you want to be when you grow up?”

As God’s Vision comes more into sharp focus, His grace, power and guidance will work in us to be the church that He has called us to be!

Dr. Paul B. Dancy, Sr. Pastor

Quo Vadis?

QUO VADIS? It’s Latin for “where are you going?”

Simon Peter asked this of Jesus just before Jesus informed him of Peter’s impending denial. Simon asked Jesus, “Lord, where are you going?” Jesus replied, “Where I am going, you cannot follow now, but you will follow later.” John 13:36. Simon Peter wasn’t able to comprehend what Jesus was telling him because Peter was locked into a particular line of thought. Today we call it a paradigm. When a line of thought or process is so ingrained in a person or organization, doing something outside of it is not deemed possible.

Jesus asked lots of questions, as the gospel-writers record. The strange thing about Jesus’ questions is that He already knew all the answers, but He wanted others to think about what they were doing and then to explain their actions. He wanted to give them a spiritual paradigm: a new way of thinking.

The question, “Where are you going?” could be asked of us on several levels.

Where are you going…in life?

God asked Adam a similar question, “Where are you?” Adam and his bride were hiding in the Garden of Eden because they were ashamed of their awful sin. Our sin destroys our relationships with God and each other. It crushes our confidence, our joy for life.

God asked Cain no less than five questions, including, “Where is your brother, Abel?”, and, “What have you done!?” God already knew that Cain had killed Abel, but Cain had some serious explaining to do.

The Lord asks you, “Where are you going?” Where are you headed? If you continue on the path you’re on, where will you end up? We’re then forced to examine our lives and give an explanation for our sinful behavior. Sometimes, like Adam, Eve and Cain we try to come up with excuses or we blame our actions on others.

“Where are you going”…in your faith? Are you growing closer to your Lord through daily Bible reading and devotions? Are you putting your Lord first in your priorities for Sunday mornings by coming to worship Him every week? Have you found a way to serve others using your spiritual gifts? So many questions!!!

“Where are we going”…in our Church? Several leaders at Praise did some “vision casting” in January and we now have Goals, Objectives and Action Plans to move toward our “preferred future,” a new paradigm of thought. Soon, we’ll have an opportunity for members of Praise to catch the vision of where we think the Lord wants us to be. God has big plans for Praise, and He will provide the power, the means, the opportunities, the resources and the success!

“Where are you going”… in your personal stewardship? We saw how God has blessed us in a multitude of ways during our “Ten-for-Ten” emphasis, and members of Praise have stepped up to raise their offerings by a whopping 20%! God’s people respond in generous ways when God’s Word and Spirit touch our hearts. “With God, all things are possible!” Many folks now have a new paradigm of Christian stewardship.

During this Lent season we see Our Lord teaching His disciples in the upper room and instituting the Lord’s Supper as a lasting covenant to bring forgiveness to His own people. We see Jesus being betrayed and denied, slandered and tried, whipped and crucified. Nothing could deter Him from His eternal mission…to save you.

Quo Vadis? “Where are you going, Jesus”? He is going to Calvary, to the cross, as His greatest goal and finest moment. All your hideous offenses have been paid in full, washed with the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ. And because of this…

Quo Vadis? “Where are you going?” You’re going to Heaven!

LENTEN MIDWEEK SERVICES BEGIN FEBRUARY 6th!

Come and prepare your heart for the remembrance of our Lord’s Passion by worshiping at Praise each Wednesday beginning Feb 6th at 7 pm.

The season of Lent, a long-standing tradition in the Christian church, is a time of repentance and prayer as we prepare to celebrate our Lord’s suffering, death and resurrection for our salvation.

The Passion of Jesus is truly the heart and center of Christianity, and Lent affords us the opportunity to recall the important events of the last two weeks of the earthly life of Jesus.

One third of the gospels focus on these two weeks, the most important days in human history! Some of the most beautiful and touching Christian music, both traditional and contemporary, was written for Lent, and we’ll use the best of each genre this year.

Some Christians choose to ‘fast’ during Lent, a voluntary ‘giving up’ of some luxury as a personal, quiet reminder to them of Christ, who gave up His life to save us. At the very least, we can give up an hour of our time to come and worship our Savior and deepen our faith.

We will once again offer the optional imputation of ashes on Ash Wednesday, as a sign of our mortality, “dust you were, and to dust you shall return.” We will celebrate the Lord’s Supper on Ash Wednesday as well, the assurance that we are truly forgiven in Christ, and our dust and ashes shall rise on the Last Day as we live with our Lord in unspeakable joy for all eternity.

This Lent, we will ‘virtually’ step back in time to listen to half a dozen different biblical characters from the last few days before Jesus’ crucifixion. We will have an opportunity to understand more fully how their thinking and actions are so often like our own. (You may even recognize a couple local “characters” from Praise in these mini-dramas.)

Our Lent services will be “family friendly” this year, too. We’ll include a children’s message, and not keep the kids up too late.

At 6 pm, previous to the services, be sure to enjoy the Soup-Salad-Sandwich-Sweets-Something-Supper served by some talented cooks of Praise in the Fellowship Hall for a mere ‘free will offering!’

Why not bring a friend or neighbor with you this year, or invite your extended family or co-workers? What an easy way to introduce your unchurched friends to Christ, and to Praise!

Hmmmm…Who could you bring….?

What Does the Lord Have in Store for Praise in 2008?

     My first year at Praise has been an incredible experience for me!  I have never met Lutheran Christians who were so willing to think “outside of the box” in ways to minister to one another and to those in our community.  The genuine warmth, care and eagerness to serve that I have seen in God’s people at Praise is simply the work of the Holy Spirit doing what He does in us!

      I’ve seen wounds slowly but surely healing in many who’ve been hurt in past conflicts- some petty and some serious.  The walls and fences are coming down, and the same forgiveness of Christ that we so dearly need ourselves is being shared with one another. “Love covers a multitude of sins.”  Several former members have returned to Praise.  Other fires are finally burning out for lack of fuel.

     The finances of the church are coming more into line with expenses- even in these difficult times.  I’ve noticed that when God’s people at Praise are faced with a challenge or a need that they step up in faith and gladly do what needs to be done- and even more! 

     I was completely “blown away” with the enthusiasm and joy shared by those who participated in Praise’s recent “Journey to Bethlehem” live nativity.  Dozens of people jumped in to build sets, to drive all the way to Marshall, Michigan more than once to get equipment, to plan, to make crafts, to dress up in first-century costumes, and to spend hours- in the cold or surrounded by itchy straw, sharing the true meaning of Christ’s birth both with friends and strangers.  (Our deepest apologies to those with respiratory conditions who were adversely affected!)  In order too share the experience with those who could not attend, some of the sets were left up until after worship on Sunday.  And then everything was cleaned up so quickly and completely that I wondered if it had all been a dream. 

     Last spring the congregation participated in a Ministry Fair to highlight the many ministries and opportunities to serve at Praise.  Some boards and ministries, which had been dormant for a while, have been given some helpers, and been infused with new life.

     Worship at Praise has sometimes struggled due to a lack of a regular Music Director, and services were sometimes as varied as the talents and preferences of each week’s lead musician.  Thanks to all who played and sang!  Pray that the Lord blesses us soon with consistency in music leadership in order to provide the blended-contemporary worship style that has set Praise apart in the past.

    Praise’s “ChristCare” ministries began training in 2007, and will be ready to start in the new year.  This comprehensive small group style of ministry resembles first-century house churches in which participants experience genuine support, encouragement, growth and fellowship from other members of the group.  This complements Praise’s Stephen Ministry, which continues to train new care-givers, and which has effectively ministered to many hurting people in and beyond Praise.

     My first nine months of serving alone in the pastoral role has changed dramatically.  Not only has the Lord blessed us with the wonderful ministry of Glenn, but with not one- but now two fieldworkers from the seminary!  In exchange for some supervision and instruction, the Lord is blessing us with Dan and Chad’s enthusiastic labor and readiness to learn.  Praise is greatly blessed to have other ordained clergy and ‘sem’ students as members of the congregation.  These men and women have the training to help us reach out in new ways with the gospel of Christ!

     Several major challenges with the upkeep and repair of the facilities have been addressed in 2007, and others are being worked on presently.  I see God’s redeemed saints at Praise coming together more and more in humble and obedient service to our Lord by serving others.  This is what a church is supposed to be.  The congregation has been responsive to my suggestions and leadership, and has been gracious in overlooking my faults and weaknesses.  Both Heidi and I have mentioned many times that we have never been so welcomed, so comfortable and so excited to be part of a congregation as we have been at Praise.  This is truly a unique church in the LCMS- faithful to God’s Word and the administration of the sacraments, and intentionally relevant to twenty-first century believers and seekers.

     Moving on from the blessings of 2007, we find two major growth experiences planned for the very beginning of 2008.  During the first three weeks of January we will have the opportunity to experience “Ten for Ten,” a biblical stewardship emphasis which explores the blessings of tithing.  Prepare to be blessed, encouraged, enlightened and challenged by God’s many promises, and by being faithful stewards of all that He has entrusted to us.  The opportunities for unity, growth and ministry are beyond our human imagination!  Please plan to attend all three Sundays in the beginning of the year, January 6, 13 and 20.

      In addition to that, the weekend of January 25 to 27 will be a monumental, life-changing weekend for Praise congregation.  We are securing the help of Rev. Dr. Robert Kasper, Sr. Pastor of St. Peter Lutheran Church in Macomb, Michigan, to lead a weekend workshop on “Strategic Ministry Planning.”  This is fancy language for developing short term and long term planning at Praise, and “vision casting.” We’ll go back to the reasons that Praise was founded, rediscover our goals, and develop a unified vision for the congregation.  We will answer questions like, “who are we as a congregation, and what exactly does God want us to do to serve Him?”  For years, many at Praise have been anxiously looking forward to building a sanctuary on the north end of the property, but the plan seems to have gotten a bit fuzzy, scattered and unclear.  Before we can resume formal plans to build, we must be unified as a congregation so that all of our efforts will be ‘pulling on the same end of the rope.’ God’s saints at Praise have all they need to build- not only a worship center, but also a growing, thriving congregation that shares Christ’s love in the community and in the world.  But until we are organized and are of one heart and mind, it will difficult for us to move forward.  Dr Kasper earned his doctorate in the field of refocusing and helping congregations to find and follow a “vision” for their future.  His congregation, with the largest school in the LCMS, recently completed a $7 million worship center and office complex.  Normally this workshop is open exclusively to the leaders of the congregation, but we are also opening it to any members of Praise who would like to attend.  A letter and registration will soon be mailed with the schedules and details.  This 3-day seminar will be a pivotal point in the future of Praise; we ask God to lead us in the direction He would have us go.

     We have several other goals for Praise in 2008:  to reach out more effectively to the hundreds of families to whom we minister in our pre school and day care.  We must also expand and organize our outreach ministry to contact effectively those who live and move into our community, bringing them into the fellowship of the congregation, and assimilating them into the life and ministry of the church.  We need to develop in further detail the work of many ministries and boards at Praise, building on the foundation of our constitution and bylaws.  In time, we hope to write job descriptions and annual agendas for each special ministry, as well as to develop policies and procedures for how we agree to do many things together in the congregation.  There is a need for a Men’s Ministry at Praise, as well as ministries to college students, those in the military and some who have wandered away.

     I believe that the Lord has placed all members of Praise in a unique location, at this very time in God’s History, with a relevant, non-traditional ministry, to reach out in unique and effective ways to those who need to hear the message of salvation in Christ’s death and resurrection.  I am genuinely excited to be associated with Praise Lutheran Church, and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us in 2008!  As the Lord said to Mary through an angel, “with God, nothing is impossible!”   -Pastor Paul Dancy